Baby Angels Blog

THINGS YOU WILL NEED: • Beading cord, jewelry wire, thin ribbon or leather cord
• Assorted beads from a local bead shop
• Small clasps and bead tips (optional)

1. Measure a length of cord for each child that easily wraps around his or her wrist. Then add about six inches to ease the stringing process. (Note: Some beading cord is elastic enough to slip over a child’s hand easily, and both ribbon and leather cord can be easily knotted. This is easier than using clasps, although clasps will make the bracelet more secure.)

2. Have your child choose and lay out a pattern of beads before stringing them. This helps prevent mistakes and frustration.

3. To begin stringing, tie a firm knot at one end of the cord. (See below for directions on attaching clasps, if you’re using them.) After your child has strung beads along a length of cord that is roughly equivalent to his wrist measurement, knot the two ends of the cord together and cut off the extra cord. If you cut off the excess cord before tying it, it’s harder to make the knot. Paint the knot with glue or nail polish to set it.

CLASPS If you’re going to put clasps on the bracelet, string one bead tip on first and then slide it down the cord until the knot is nestled inside. (A bead tip secures the thread to the clasp). Add the rest of the beads, adding the second bead tip last. Tie a knot at this second end and push it down so it too nestles inside the bead tip. Paint super-glue or clear nail polish on the two knots to set them. When that’s dry, join the clasp loops to the bead tips, and close the loops using pliers.

Pretend play is a very important part of a child’s development at every age and stage. From playing with dolls to dress-up, pretend play activities open up a world of make-believe, creativity and imagination. Even the simplest games help to develop important social skills, like sharing and taking turns. Encourage pretend play by setting up a kid-friendly space with all the right accessories.

First, designate an area for pretend play; it can be an entire room or a corner of a family space. Add a child-sized table and chairs to be used for a tea party, as a grocery store counter or even as a teacher’s desk. Hang a corkboard or chalkboard and add plenty of art supplies, like chalk and construction paper, for your kids to create an elaborate backdrop for each activity. Add a soft rug on the floor where kids can sprawl out and begin to imagine their next adventure.

Next, add props that inspire games of dress-up, role-play and other pretend play activities. Store costumes and hats in a storage trunk that’s easily accessible, and outfit the space with miniature versions of adult-sized appliances, including play kitchens and a kid-sized tool bench. Add smaller accessories to really make their activities come to life, such as play money, puppets, dolls, school supplies and toys.

Finally, encourage your kids’ creativity by giving them plenty of time to play. Keep some of their latest creations in tact for a few days, like a secret fort made of sheets or a grocery store checkout center, and watch their stories take on new shapes each day. When children are ready to move on to the next big adventure, add a few new props to continually spark their imagination.

What can mums do to get rid of the belly after baby? And how do you slim down bulky legs?

As if stretch marks weren’t bad enough, pregnancy often leaves women with a big jelly belly to contend with. The bump that was so cute during pregnancy becomes like a balloon that’s lost most of its air the morning after the party.

While it might seem unimaginable in the first few weeks after delivery, yes, the tummy area can shrink back dramatically without plastic surgery.

Just how much and how quickly depends on several factors, says Dr. Laurie Casas, a plastic surgeon on the faculty of Northwestern University in Chicago and a spokesperson for the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery.

Obviously, diet and exercise are key, she notes. With a doctor’s permission, most women can begin working out within a few weeks of delivery (those who have had C-sections generally are advised to wait longer). And while breast-feeding women should not diet — and actually need a few hundred extra calories to make milk — all women can focus on eating a reduced-fat diet rich in fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains.

Of course, exercising may be low on the priority list for many busy, sleep-deprived new moms. But consider this: Pushing a stroller around the neighborhood for 30 minutes to an hour a day can go a long way toward melting away the fat, says Gina Lombardi, a personal trainer in Los Angeles who is working on a book about postpartum weight loss. There are even outdoor classes such as Stroller Strides in many cities now.

Other ideas: Walk with your baby in a front carrier. Do exercise videos or use home exercise equipment while the baby sleeps. Have your partner or a friend or relative take care of the tot while you hit the gym.

In addition to cardiovascular activity to burn off the baby fat, you’ll also need to do crunches to tighten those very stretched abdominal muscles. Start with one set of 10 repetitions and work up to three sets of 20, a few times a week, recommends Lombardi.

To really work the sides of your tummy, try the bicycle crunch, in which you lift your left elbow to your right knee and then switch to the opposite. Aim for the same number of reps and sets as with the standard crunch.

Addressing the weight gain within the first months after delivery pays off. Research has shown that women who do not shed their pregnancy weight within six months are likely to still be carrying it around 10 or 15 years later.

There is no question that kids are wonderful, but also no question that they can take a lot out of you, in more ways than one! Pregnancy, and especially repeated pregnancies, stretch and distort the breasts and abdomen. Depending on your views, you can do something about it, and many women do.

The effects of pregnancy on the abdomen are fairly obvious. Although the uterus is usually about the size of an orange, during pregnancy, the baby grows inside the uterus, stretching the uterus and ultimately the abdominal wall. As the baby grows, the uterus presses on the inside of the muscle wall of the abdomen. At the front of the abdomen, the two vertically oriented “Rectus” muscles (the “six-pack” muscles) get pulled apart, and actually separate as the fascia elongates. Once that has happened, nothing other than surgery can bring them back together. Exercise can’t do it, since there is no muscle in the midline for you to exercise.

In addition to the muscle, the skin gets stretched as the baby grows. This is especially notable in the center of the abdomen, near the belly button. Stretch marks may develop. Once the baby is delivered, the skin collapses, and may leave loose, hanging skin. Because the underlying muscle has also been stretched, a bulge may be apparent in the lower abdomen, especially when you stand up.

The effects on the breasts are no less dramatic. Due to hormonal changes brought on by pregnancy, the breasts start to grow, especially as the baby is getting ready to be born. Following delivery, breast feeding causes the breasts to repeatedly stretch. Once breast-feeding is complete, the breasts typically decrease in size, often to a size smaller than they were before the pregnancy. Again, stretch marks and loose skin result, and the breast tissue loses its substance and starts to hang.

While even a single pregnancy has these effects,repeated pregnancy does the most damage. Often, women say that they had little trouble after the first and second child, but the third one caused a tremendous amount of abdominal stretching and breast tissue loss. Extra collections of fat, which might have been present but much less obvious, become apparent. The frequent combination of these problems: breast tissue loss and drooping, abdominal stretching of muscle and skin, and local collections of fat.

What’s your view? Have you had surgery? Discuss it here.

By Brette McWhorter Sember

Trying to conceive is filled with questions . . . some of them difficult to ask. Here are answers to several queries hopeful parents may be too bashful to ask.

Confession time. There are a lot of things I want to know about fertility that I’ve never been able to bring myself to ask. There are probably all sorts of crazy and outrageous questions that have occurred to you, too, which don’t exactly spring to your lips when you’re sitting in front of your doctor in a paper gown. Never fear though, because here are the answers to all the questions you’ve been dying to ask, but haven’t.

1. Does having an orgasm help you to get pregnant?

In theory, an orgasm could help you get pregnant, but experts agree it’s definitely not necessary. During an orgasm, the uterus contracts, causing a vacuum effect which could theoretically move sperm up into the uterus. But Sandra Gahn, co-author of The Infertility Companion, points out, “There’s a certain logic in this theory, yet while studies have shown such a vacuum effect exists, whether it actually brings about a higher pregnancy rate is unproven.”

The key to getting pregnant is not having an orgasm (although it sure makes trying more fun), but timing intercourse to correspond with your fertile period. Trying to force yourself to have an orgasm every time is a recipe for disaster since the stress will not put you in the mood. If you do want to have an orgasm during intercourse, many women are not able to have an orgasm from intercourse alone, so added manual stimulation may help.
 

2. Should I try to stop the sperm from leaking out after sex? For how long?

After ejaculation, the fluid that carries sperm liquefies and most of it runs out. Your body can’t use and doesn’t need that fluid, so it’s has to run out at some point. You may be worried that you’re losing valuable sperm, but according to Dr. Michael Bohrer, MD, endocrinologist with Reproductive Medical Associates of New Jersey and former director of the IVF program at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical Center, “The vagina naturally slopes backwards and the majority of ejaculate will be retained.”

Sperm are speedy and can make their way to the Fallopian tubes within five to 10 minutes of ejaculation. Many experts recommend lying on your back with a pillow under your hips for about 15 to 20 minutes after intercourse. The consensus is that it can’t hurt and may help. But forget standing on your head—that won’t do anything other than make you dizzy.

3. Are there any sexual practices we should avoid while trying to conceive? For example, is saliva harmful? Sex toys? Flavored lubricants?

Lubricants can make intercourse more comfortable and pleasurable, but they aren’t conducive to conception. Dr. Mark Leondires, MD, a reproductive endocrinologist with Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut, says, “Oil-based lubricants or any product containing scents or inorganic materials are likely to kill sperm.” Lubricants also affect sperm motility, slowing down the swimmers. According to Dr. Leondires, studies have found that all lubricants on the market have some impact. A new product called Pre-Seed is marketed as a lubricant for those trying to conceive, but there are no independent studies yet proving that it does not impact sperm.

Dr. Jay Schinfeld, MD, reproductive endocrinologist with Abington Reproductive Medicine in Abington, Pennsylvania says, “The safest two lubricants are egg whites (to use, take a medium-to-large egg, separate the white, and let it come to room temperature) or olive oil.” He points out that salmonella is not a concern with egg whites unless they get in the mouth, so avoid oral sex after the application. Saliva is not harmful to sperm. And sex toys are not a problem, as long as you wash them carefully and avoid contamination from the rectum.

4. Is there a sex position that’s best for conceiving?

Good news here—whatever floats your boat works just fine. Most experts agree that any position that deposits sperm next to the cervix is effective. Some women worry that if they are on top, sperm will leak out immediately. Semen is very thick when it is ejaculated and liquefies with time. This keeps it next to the cervix long enough for the sperm to forge ahead. However, director of Georgetown University’s Institute for Reproductive Health, Dr. Victoria Jennings, MD, points out there is a common belief that missionary position is best. “There is not actual evidence for this, but it certainly can’t hurt.” Different positions do not influence the sex of the baby

5. I think my husband masturbates sometimes. Should he stop while we’re trying to conceive?

Frequent masturbation can reduce your partner’s sperm count temporarily, but occasional masturbation is not a concern. Men have a 24/7 sperm factory at work; two days of ejaculation in a row have no effect on sperm, but more than that could decrease sperm count. If you’re concerned, suggest that he abstain during your fertile period when you will be having regular sex. But the rest of the month is not a problem, in fact, “Abstaining from ejaculation for too long is also detrimental to male fertility,” says Dr. Bohrer.
 

6. Do we have to have sex every day while I’m trying to get pregnant?

“Couples who have sex every one to two days conceive more quickly than those who have sex every three to four days,” reports Dr. Peter McGovern, MD, reproductive endocrinologist in the Department of Reproductive Science at Hackensack University Medical Center in Hackensack, New Jersey. The standard advice from fertility clinics is to have sex every other day during your fertile period (from five to six days before ovulation to one day after).

7. Is there a body type that’s best for conceiving? I’m flat-chested and thin-hipped . . . are women with more curves more fertile?

“Fertile women come in all sizes,” says Glahn, pointing out that women of all body types are able to get pregnant. However, Dr. Randy Morris, MD, associate clinical professor of Reproductive Endocrinology at the University of Illinois School of Medicine in Chicago, says a recent study has shown that women with larger breasts and slimmer waists have higher levels of estrogen and progesterone, the hormones associated with fertility. The study did not compare pregnancy rates though. Since you can’t control your basic body shape, focus instead on staying healthy and maximizing your fertile period.

8. Is it OK to diet while trying to get pregnant? Is it safe to cut out carbs?

Some dieting is OK. Dr. Bohrer says, “A well-balanced and healthy diet accompanied by light exercise is ideal.” He cautions that “extreme diets like South Beach and Atkins induce a starvation-type response, not good if you are trying to conceive.” Make sure you’re getting enough calcium, folic acid, and iron by taking a prenatal vitamin.
 

9. My period isn’t late yet, but I really feel like I’m pregnant. Am I crazy? How early can I do a home pregnancy test?

Early pregnancy often feels just like a period about to start, but some women notice the effects of the early rise in HCG levels, which can result in breast tenderness. Dr. Morris conducted an informal five-year survey at his infertility office and asked women about to take a pregnancy test if they believed they were pregnant. “Most pregnant patients did not think they were pregnant,” he discovered. A pregnancy test is the best way to determine if you are pregnant, and a blood test is the most accurate, particularly in early pregnancy. Home tests are accurate when used according to package instructions, usually not until the first day of your missed period, though some brands now offer results up to five days sooner, with decreased accuracy.

10. If I get my period regularly does that mean I’m ovulating and fertile?

Fortunately, for the vast majority of women, regular periods equal ovulation. Not getting a period is definitely a sign that you may not be ovulating, but it is possible to get a period in months in which you do not ovulate. “Even the fact that you’re ovulating doesn’t mean for sure that you’re able to get pregnant,” points out Dr. Jennings, because you could have tube blockage or low progesterone levels or other problems. If you’re concerned, chart your basal body temperature and use an ovulation prediction kit. If you ovulate in the month you test, then it is likely you are ovulating monthly.
 

11. My periods are usually very regular, but the last one was late. Could that mean I was pregnant and miscarried?

It is possible. Ten to 25 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, including many pregnancies that women aren’t even aware of because they occur very early. “Early pregnancy losses are extremely common and not a cause for concern,” reassures Dr. McGovern. You would not experience more cramping with an early miscarriage, and the only way to know you that you were pregnant and miscarried would be with a blood test. Having a late period one or two times a year is in fact normal and often due to stress, travel, exercise, or illness.

By Stacy DeBroff. Although you and your partner may be excited about the impending arrival of your second child, chances are your firstborn is a little anxious and confused. Help your toddler prepare for a new brother or sister with this handy guide.

The birth of a child is an occasion of excitement and joy—but for the newborn’s sibling, it can instead be a time of jealousy and confusion. I remember the day after I brought my son Brooks home from the hospital. He was all wrapped up in the bassinette next to our bed and lost in that deep sleep of which only newborns seem truly capable.

My daughter Kyle, just 18 months old at the time, flung herself on the floor in unmitigated toddler grief. “Oh no!” she cried, wailing and wreathing. “Take baby back! Oh noooo!” It was worse than I thought. Kyle clearly wanted me to return Brooks (perhaps to Toys R Us where she could get something in exchange).

Thankfully I was prepared and out of our bathroom rolled an oversize blue plastic wagon for Kyle to sit in and motor with her small, socked feet. “This,” I declared, “is the present that Brooks got just for you as his new big sister.” Kyle looked doubtfully up from the floor at Brooks’ curled sleeping form, back at the beckoning wagon, and with eyebrows furrowed in wary resignation and lingering concern, opted to accept the gift. Sibling crisis averted!

To best acclimate your young child to a little sister or brother, begin long before your baby is born. Strive to be understanding and patient as your eldest adapts to this big change in his or her small world. Try the following tips to ensure a smooth transition for your whole family.

Before Baby Arrives

• Give your child a time frame she can understand for when the baby will arrive (such as right after her birthday, around Christmas, or just before school ends for the summer).
• Give your child the appropriate expectations. Explain to him that for the first few months the baby will do little more than eat, sleep, and cry.
• If your child is older, take her on a brief tour of the hospital where you will deliver. Explain all the details of who will look after her and where she will stay while you are in the hospital.

• Tell your child about when you were pregnant with her and the story of her birth.
• Read books or watch videos about becoming a big brother or sister.
• Decorate the newborn’s room with your child.

• Make major changes, such as toilet training or giving up a pacifier or bottle, at least a few months before you expect to give birth (and be prepared for backsliding once the baby comes).
• If you plan to use your older child’s crib for the new baby, get her into her new bed long before the baby comes. Remove the crib from sight for a while so when you return it for your new baby, your older child will not think of it as her crib. Consider new bedding and bumpers for your baby, too, so your child doesn’t feel like she’s turning over her entire bed to a newcomer.
• Start your child’s new routine a few weeks before your baby is due. Have helpers begin coming to the house or start him at a new daycare program or school.
• Begin arranging time for your child to spend alone with grandparents, caregivers, and your partner, so others can tend to her needs while you care for the baby.
• Have your child come with you to sit for a friend’s or relative’s baby a few times before the birth of your new child. This will help your child get used to having a baby around.

• After Baby is Born

  • Don’t blame the baby for big changes that disrupt your older child’s life. By doing so, you risk giving your child reasons to resent her new sibling.
  • Allow your older child new privileges, such as a later bedtime or extended playtime hours.
  • Let your child overhear you talking about what a great older sibling he is.
  • Don’t try to make your child stay quiet while the baby sleeps. Your baby will adapt to the noise, and your older child’s life will be less disrupted.

• If you find yourself in the middle of an activity with your older child when your baby begins crying, wait a minute or two before responding to show the importance of what you two have been doing. This will help keep the connection to your older child strong.
• If your child and the baby have separate rooms, tell your older child that her room will be off-limits to the baby and ask her to keep her toys with small parts there. Offer to get a gate to keep the baby out. This way your child doesn’t have to keep her door closed all the time and feel isolated in the process.

Of course, this is only the beginning of the ongoing sibling contention. My husband, an only child, asked me recently when Kyle and Brooks (now 13 and 11) would stop fighting with each other. “Gee,” I said, “I don’t even think that they fight all that much. I’ve seen much worse.” He responded, “You have got to be kidding! Seriously, when will this end?” I reflected and reassured him that the arguing should resolve at least by their early 30s!

When my oldest son David started nursery two years ago they were teaching the kids about drugs and that nicotine is a drug. My husband is a smoker and a reserve police officer, so imagine our surprise when heard our son telling people, “My dad is a policeman and he does drugs!”

One night I was changing my four-year-old’s shirt. He looked at his chest and asked me what the two “dots” were. Because he was so interested, I told him the truth, using the the correct term. Then he pointed at my chest and asked, “You have them too?” I said yes. A couple of days later I got a huge blemish on my forehead. When my son noticed it, he said to his daddy, “Mommy has a really big nipple on her forehead!” My husband had a kick trying to explain to him the difference between a “nipple” and a “pimple!”

One night I was changing my four-year-old’s shirt. He looked at his chest and asked me what the two “dots” were. Because he was so interested, I told him the truth, using the the correct term. Then he pointed at my chest and asked, “You have them too?” I said yes. A couple of days later I got a huge blemish on my forehead. When my son noticed it, he said to his daddy, “Mommy has a really big nipple on her forehead!” My husband had a kick trying to explain to him the difference between a “nipple” and a “pimple!”

Bloopers, blunders, and just plain brilliant observations. Kids can be quite amusing at times, without even knowing it!

My son’s little friend at playgroup died recently and he asked what did ‘died’ mean? I told him that his friend’s grandma didn’t hurt anymore as she’d gone to a nice place called Heaven which was sunny with a beach and icecream. (That would sound like a nice place to him!). He went very quiet and replied ‘That’s ok, her grandma won’t be lonely because my grandad and grandma live in Devon‘! Very cute.